What it feels like to drop the struggle

How can I stop struggling with difficult thoughts and feelings? Learn an exercise to manage and accept your thoughts for a clearer mind.

When difficult thoughts and feelings arise within us, our immediate instinct is to struggle. But like quicksand, struggling only makes things worse. The alternative is best understood through an exercise.

Exercise: 

Imagine that in front of you is everything that matters to you. This includes both the enjoyable, pleasing aspects of life, and the difficult, unpleasant ones.

Grab a book, and pretend that it contains all those difficult thoughts, images, memories, feelings, emotions, sensations, and urges that you usually tend to struggle with.

Grip the book with both hands and hold it as far away from you as possible. Straighten your arms fully (no bending at the elbows) and extend them as far as possible. (This should be effortful; if it is not, you need to extend more, push harder.)

Maintain this position for at least one minute. As you do so, notice with curiosity how you find this experience. Note what kinds of thoughts and feelings show up.

Now imagine doing this exercise all day long, for hours on end; how devastatingly exhausting would it be? Imagine trying to do anything at the same time as doing this exercise. How much would it distract you from what you are doing? How much would you miss out on?

This is what we do when we struggle with our thoughts and feelings. We invest massive amounts of time and energy in pushing them away. This is tiring, draining, and distracting. We cannot be present, we cannot live

Now let us try doing something different.

Again, pretend this book is all your unwanted thoughts and feelings. And again, push this book away from you, as hard as you can, for one minute straight. Then stop pushing and immediately rest the book on your lap. Notice what you can see and hear around you. 

What difference does it make? What was it like to stop pushing?

When we stop struggling and make room for our thoughts and feelings, we do not fight them, nor do we let them push us around. Our mind becomes clear. We can invest our time and energy in toward moves. We can do the things we want to do better, and we experience life more clearly.

We can suddenly see our thoughts and feelings for what they are; pointers that tell us something meaningful.

LinkedIn
X
Facebook

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Search
PAGE CONTENTS

    LATEST POSTS & ARTICLES