In his book ‘The Happiness Trap,’ Russ Harris makes a strong case for the importance of learning to observe your thoughts and feelings. These feelings will always be there. Learning to recognise them for what they are (signs from our unconscious), is the only sustainable ‘path to happiness.’
Whenever there is some dispute regarding physical or mental health, I often find it useful to look at early human behaviour. After all, most of our being has evolved for us to survive and thrive in these times. Our bodies are not adapted for 99% of the things in our environment.
So, what can we learn from Harris’s story when we go this far back, what would be different?
The most important difference is the absence of this 99%. Way back, there were no televisions, video games, alcohol, caffeine, porn, comfort food and grocery stores, no easy commuting, central heating… the list goes on and on.
If you felt cold, hungry, sad, lonely, angry, distracted, tired, or whatever ‘negative’ feeling you can recall, you had to be with that feeling. It was all you had. Going through all these experiences, you had to learn how to live with them, learn to see them for what they are. Life would have been unbearable if you didn’t.
Fast forward to the 21st century.
Feel cold? Turn up the radiator. Feel sad? There are endless movies to distract you from it. Feel tired? Just grab a coffee. Feel angry? Shoot some people in call of duty and you’re good to go. Lonely? Take a train across the country or just have a real-time call with a friend.
Escapes from our negative feelings have become so accessible that this is what we do in response to them, rather than listening to what they have to say.
Negative feelings are our subconscious’s way of communicating that our needs are not being met. But instead of finding structural solutions, we crave a quick relief.
No wonder we are experiencing a depression and anxiety epidemic. We are all too busy distracting ourselves rather than fighting the cause. We are undoing the greatest step in human evolution; the emergence of the conscious mind.