Caught up in our thoughts, our attention wanders away from what we are doing. We are physically present but psychologically absent. Being absorbed in thought can be useful when it is life-enhancing (for example, while solving a complex problem at work). When it takes us away from the life we want, we are simply hooked.
When we are not psychologically present, we (1) miss out on life and/or (2) do things poorly.
How to be more present
Mindfulness is a set of psychological skills for effective living. It entails paying attention with openness, curiosity, and flexibility.
We can imagine life as a stage show. On stage are your thoughts, feelings, memories, urges, and sensations. But also, everything you can see, hear, touch, taste, and smell.
There is a part of you that can zoom in and out of that show, lighting up any aspect at any time—the noticing self, essentially: you. The noticing self is central to every mindfulness skill.
Sometimes it illuminates thoughts or puts a particular emotion in the spotlight. At other times, it directs attention toward the world around you, noticing sights, sounds, and smells. Sometimes it zooms in and spotlight one area. At other times it zooms out, floodlighting the entire stage.
This is called flexible attention. It is the ability to narrow, broaden, sustain, or shift your focus, depending on what is most useful in the moment.
Everything we have learned so far incorporates various aspects of mindfulness. Mindfulness helps us to be present, so we can act more effectively and get more fulfillment (eudaimonia) out of life.
Below are four manfulness practices that you can immediately incorporate into your life. If distracting thoughts and feelings should arise, acknowledge them, and put your attention back to the task at hand.
- Notice your environment. Notice as much as you can about what you can see, hear, touch, taste, and smell.
- Notice your body. Inwardly scan your body from head to toe.
- Notice your breath. Notice the rise and fall of your rib cage and the air moving in and out of your upper body.
- Notice sounds. Just focus on the sounds you can hear, either from yourself or from your environment.
Curing boredom
When these thoughts hook us, they obscure our view of the world. But life is very different when we pay attention with openness and curiosity.
We tend to get bored when our mind takes our present experience for granted, when we have experienced it many times before. The stage show of life is still there, but the lights are so dim we barely notice anything of it.
In such moments, we can use our noticing self to turn up the luminosity. Often you will find that there is a vast length, breadth, and depth of human experience, even when we have been there before.
Take a book for example and try to experience it as if for the first time in your life. Feel its weight and texture, the pages as you turn them. See the colours and shapes on the cover, the space around the letters inside. Smell the paper, and listen to the sound the pages make…
Exercise: a thoroughly enjoyable practice
Find at least two things every day that are enjoyable, important, meaningful, and life-enhancing. Not something you do to distract from unwanted feelings or thoughts. Nevertheless, it can be as simple as eating lunch or stoking a cat.
Pretend that this is the first time you have ever done it. Pay full attention to what you can see, hear, smell, touch, or taste, and savour every moment. Focus completely on what you are doing, using all your five senses. When thoughts and feelings arise, acknowledge their presence, let them be, and refocus on what you were doing.
Exercise: a not-so-enjoyable practice
You can do the same thing for something that you usually do routinely, or things you (would rather) avoid. Give this activity your full attention. Notice whatever you can see, hear, touch, taste, and smell. Approach it as if you are a curious child discovering it for the very first time.
Keep practicing these exercises throughout the day. The aim is to progressively extend to more areas of your life, until you reach a point where you no longer think of them as practice. You are just naturally being present.
Over time, this leads to a profound change in the way you live: rather than missing out on life, you start making the most of it.
