Ruminating, worrying, and obsessing are all problem-solving processes. They emerge from (a combination of) difficult situations, thoughts, and feelings, and provide short-term relief:
- When we are caught up in our thoughts, it diverts our attention from unpleasant sensations in our body.
- It may take a long time, but eventually we do (usually) come up with an answer or solution.
- These cognitive processes take time, energy, and effort. We feel like we are doing something productive.
- It helps us avoid the discomfort of taking the uncomfortable but necessary action.
Some strategies to help you stop doing it:
- When your mind is in a calm enough stat, simply noticing and naming can be enough. Take a moment to do so (repeatedly) and bring your attention back to what you are doing.
- When your mind is turbulent, drop anchor first before trying to do 1. Acknowledge your thoughts and feelings, connect with your body, and refocus your attention.
- Treat yourself kindly: acknowledge your suffering and respond with kind words and actions. For example, remind yourself that this short-term discomfort is in the service of long-term positive change.
- If intrusive thoughts arise, notice and name them, open up, and allow them. In this way, we take away their energy and disrupt the vicious cycle.
We can equip ourselves to be able to apply the strategies above, even in the heat of the moment. We can do this by dipping in and out of thought streams in a controlled environment. You will need a timer to do the exercise.
Exercise: thought-stream dipping
Step 1: Set a timer for sixty seconds and use it to daydream (or worry/ruminate) about something. Get as absorbed in it as possible.
Step 2: When the timer goes off, drop anchor: acknowledge what you are thinking and feeling. Connect with your body; what and where do you feel something?
Once you feel grounded again, you can return to step 1.
