Make better choices automatically

How can I change my default behaviour to improve my life? This page offers tips on altering default choices to enhance well-being and productivity.

This an excerpt from a summary of Benjamin Hardy's book 'Willpower Doesn't Work.' You can access the full book summary via the link icon.

Changing the default option of choices is an easy way to change your behaviour. The default behaviour is often triggered by environmental queues. The more repeated the cycle, the more ingrained the cue becomes. Simple changes in your environment can give you the opportunity to rethink if you really want to do something.

The default for most people is to live in a reactive state—reacting to texts, emails, and other notifications. We are all addicted, dependent, and broken. The following principles allow you to break from this state.

Don’t be a slave to your environment

We spend a disproportionate time on modern technologies, such as smartphones. Just like you should unplug from work every night, you should unplug your body from food and your brain from technology once per week.

Take a weekly fast; a day without phone and internet for 24 hours. Instead, reconnect with yourself and your loved ones.

Be where you are

Our default is to always be available. But to be fully engaged and effective at work, you need to be able to psychologically detach from it. Being connected all the time, we remain in a state of continuous low-level stress. This stress is subconscious, but it ages the mind and body.

In the context of work, you need to set clear boundaries on when you are available and when you are not. After that, you need to set rituals where you psychologically detach yourself from work. For example, at the end of the day, write down what your top priorities are for the next day or week. Remember, when you write them down, they will not recirculate in your working memory. Send any final communications if you need to do so. Then turn off your PC and put your work phone on airplane mode. Leave the phone in your office or put it away in a bag.

When you allow yourself to be unavailable, you will live a far more present life. You will experience a deep satisfaction actually being present with your loved ones. You will be more mindful and engaged. You will be a better person in your relationships.

Act on instinct and intuition, not impulse and dependence

If you’re going to use caffeine or technology, do it based on intuition and instinct, not based on impulse and addiction. This requires mindfulness of your body and environment. Your environments (including cultural values around work) are set up to trigger addiction and dependence.

Create deep human connection to overcome addiction

Addiction is the product of isolation and loneliness. It creates a downward spiral that reinforces the effect. When you do not have meaningful relationships, you seek to fill that void somewhere else.

When you are in an addictive state, it can be hard to establish these relationships with others. After all, who would want to connect to a person like that? You resort to willpower to solve your addiction, rather than changing the environment that is causing it. Vulnerability is essential. Connection is the key. 

Rather than seeing addicts as bad people, it is important to see addiction for what it is: a solution. It is a solution for resolving pain.

You do not need to be brilliant to have healthy relationships. You simply need to be real and genuine. This requires keeping your cell phone of you for extended periods of time, but also honesty about your values, beliefs, and goals.

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